Subliminal White Trash

Welcome. This site contains a cross section of my writing including stories, comedy skits, poetry, dialogues and observational humour with a satirical edge. Feedback is much appreciated. Coming through people! Clear a path! My e-mail is kevincpearce@yahoo.com

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Location: Burlington, Ontario, Canada

After graduating high school in 1995 with a significant amount of embarrassingly cliched emotional baggage, Kevin "Subliminal White Trash" Pearce made his way to Toronto in a perfectly understandable attempt to outrun his past. After encountering many similarly desperate and stubbornly eccentric people, Kevin found his way into the acting and spoken word scenes. With an amazing and almost inhuman effort, Kevin somehow negotiated through his self destructive tendencies on his way to finding some kind of second rate enlightenment in his strange little world of reckless, impulsive creativity. After spending three years in Toronto, Kevin decided to return to the suburbs in order to preserve his diminishing supply of mental health. Sometimes he even thinks it was the right decision.

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

finally a new post

a story about bleeding...

Did you ever bleed so much that you just said "Goddamn. What a goddamn mess. There's blood everywhere. It's just one big bloody mess. What am I gonna do? Awwwww...goddamnit. I'm in serious trouble here. I've never seen so much goddamn blood. How am I gonna clean this up? And is that even a priority right now? Wow. I'm still losing blood at an alarming rate. This is not good. Maybe I should call someone. Goddamnit."

Been going through some writer's block so I forced myself to write something and this is what I came up with.

untitled

we are human tuning forks
vibrating to our own frequencies
searching for the rhythm and the pulse
of the universe
the peace of mind
we're looking to find
the occasional perfect moment
to prove we're not blind
so I accept my flaws
and their probable cause
because in the last place to dream
there can be no laws

Some guy comes up to you on the street and just starts talking up a storm, each sentence more and more useless as he wastes your time and invades your personal space. He assumes you care about what he has to say. You don't. You want to get rid of him as fast as possible. Here is a good way to end the conversation immediately. In a very slow and methodical voice, say to him "I am going to EAT YOUR FAMILY." The look on his face will be priceless. If that doesn't scare him away then you're in trouble. Any mention of cannibalism should be a deal breaker. Let the Jeffrey Dahmer jokes begin. "I went over to Jeffrey's the other day. He was in a good mood and greeted me at the door with a hand shake." "Hey Jeffrey. That skull looks really nice. What do you want for it?" "It's gonna cost you an arm and a leg." "I asked Jeffrey what part of the human body tastes best but he ended up giving me the cold shoulder." His next door neighbour comments that "Jeffrey never bought no groceries." But seriously. I think society is doing a great job of keeping the cannibalism down. Well done. Or medium rare.

There's a movie out now called "Everybody's Fine". I nominate this title as possibly the worst in movie history. People go to the movies for drama, intrigue, suspense, horror or maybe to have a few laughs at the misfortunes of others and all that fun stuff. What's the fucking point if "Everybody's Fine"? How boring. How safe. How sad. I'm not saying it's a bad movie because I refuse to see it but that title just ruins it right out of the gate. Definitely a slap in the face to anyone who isn't a mental anorexic...and by that I mean "feeble minded".

I don't understand this fascination people have about following celebrities on Twitter. Why do people care what celebrities do in their spare time or about their opinions? "Today I bought a new car, fucked a model, bought her a car so she'll keep fucking me and fired the pool guy because their was a leaf floating on the water. You just can't get good help these days. What's with all these lame scripts? If I'm doing the sequel to _______________ they better double my salary or I'm out. What's wrong with these goddamn producers? Don't they know who I am? Maybe I'll write a big cheque to a charity that will thank me publicly. It'll keep my name in the news and get me laid. What's with the plumbing in this house? Every time I take a shit I have to go to war with the porcelain with the plunger lol. I'm so full of shit. Get it? I should hire someone to deal with the aftermath of my huge dumps. That would be awesome lol."

I could write an epic novel based on your flaws. I just don't think the human race is ready.

The Compulsive Liar

"You're a compulsive liar."
"No I'm not."
"There you go. Another lie."
"Don't be ridiculous."
"I'm not being ridiculous. Another lie."
"You don't know what you're talking about."
"I know exactly what I'm talking about. Another lie."
"OK. Now you're just being mean."
"Wrong. I'm not being mean. I'm being honest. Something you know very little about."
"Fuck you. You're not my friend."
"Wrong. I am your friend despite the fact that you're a compulsive liar."
"I don't think we can be friends anymore."
"Wrong. You'll be calling me tomorrow."
"I'm gonna leave now."
"OK. First honest thing you've said in this entire conversation. Talk to you tomorrow."