Observational Humour Part 2
I like to admire your psychic shit sculptures. Your enigmatic, aromatic insults.
To dream without a conscience is for the weak and vulnerable. It gives them a chance to shine.
It takes a special kind of girl to get away with a sweaty ass.
Poets have been mysteriously silent on the subject of compulsive masturbation.
What is it that sick old men in dirty undershirts know that I don't know? What are they hiding? Those filthy bastards.
The host of "America's Most Wanted" called this criminal he was profiling a "rotten, satanic animal." I thought that was about the funniest thing I ever heard.
I still don't understand my face.
A mild death wish is a beautiful human pursuit.
I got a letter from a friend the other day. He writes "Since the suicide attempt I have been very happy-go-lucky, making new friends and re-establishing contact with my family. Life is great." Man, that guy's fucked up.
Don't pretend like you wrote a song that captured the heart of a nation. And enough with those embarrassing smells. Try to have a conscience sometimes. Can't you see that we are SUFFERING?!? What strange, mad force has invaded your testicles? It's almost like you want to impregnate the universe with your sickness. Please show some mercy. We are fragile.
This coffee is disgusting. I wouldn't even throw this coffee in a drunk's face. This coffee shouldn't even be near a bowl of jello for fear that the fear would be fearless. This coffee is fit to soak a dictionary with. The dictionary should soak for awhile. Then you might know what I mean. Don't even try to tell me about jello. I know about jello. Don't be so curious about jello. That's my business. Learn some respect. Go to Harvard Business School and learn some fucking respect. There are enough superstars in Hollywood. There is no shortage of superstars in Hollywood or in the suburbs. Go kiss somebody.
This goddamn nurse dresses up like a goddamn ray of sunshine for Halloween but whenever I have a laughing fit she tries to give me a goddamn sedative.
I think civilization is doing a tremendous job keeping the cannibalism down. Take a break from your busy life and applaud yourself for not eating your fellow man. Well done. Or medium rare.
That which doesn't kill me makes me tired and confused so I turn to alcohol and psych meds. Then things get...well...y'know. Act like you know.
Another coating on my dead iron core. Cold brain stem not much drip.
My roommate shaved his beard off. That was about as much excitement as I could handle for one day.
"Do you have a mental illness?"
"No. I can't really get into it and I probably wouldn't be too good at it."
"Hey dude, you drinking tonight?"
"Yeah. C'mon over. Bring a bucket for your girlfriend."
"The kids can only vaguely recall the killing itself yet remember with brilliant clarity the labels on everybody's clothes."
To dream without a conscience is for the weak and vulnerable. It gives them a chance to shine.
It takes a special kind of girl to get away with a sweaty ass.
Poets have been mysteriously silent on the subject of compulsive masturbation.
What is it that sick old men in dirty undershirts know that I don't know? What are they hiding? Those filthy bastards.
The host of "America's Most Wanted" called this criminal he was profiling a "rotten, satanic animal." I thought that was about the funniest thing I ever heard.
I still don't understand my face.
A mild death wish is a beautiful human pursuit.
I got a letter from a friend the other day. He writes "Since the suicide attempt I have been very happy-go-lucky, making new friends and re-establishing contact with my family. Life is great." Man, that guy's fucked up.
Don't pretend like you wrote a song that captured the heart of a nation. And enough with those embarrassing smells. Try to have a conscience sometimes. Can't you see that we are SUFFERING?!? What strange, mad force has invaded your testicles? It's almost like you want to impregnate the universe with your sickness. Please show some mercy. We are fragile.
This coffee is disgusting. I wouldn't even throw this coffee in a drunk's face. This coffee shouldn't even be near a bowl of jello for fear that the fear would be fearless. This coffee is fit to soak a dictionary with. The dictionary should soak for awhile. Then you might know what I mean. Don't even try to tell me about jello. I know about jello. Don't be so curious about jello. That's my business. Learn some respect. Go to Harvard Business School and learn some fucking respect. There are enough superstars in Hollywood. There is no shortage of superstars in Hollywood or in the suburbs. Go kiss somebody.
This goddamn nurse dresses up like a goddamn ray of sunshine for Halloween but whenever I have a laughing fit she tries to give me a goddamn sedative.
I think civilization is doing a tremendous job keeping the cannibalism down. Take a break from your busy life and applaud yourself for not eating your fellow man. Well done. Or medium rare.
That which doesn't kill me makes me tired and confused so I turn to alcohol and psych meds. Then things get...well...y'know. Act like you know.
Another coating on my dead iron core. Cold brain stem not much drip.
My roommate shaved his beard off. That was about as much excitement as I could handle for one day.
"Do you have a mental illness?"
"No. I can't really get into it and I probably wouldn't be too good at it."
"Hey dude, you drinking tonight?"
"Yeah. C'mon over. Bring a bucket for your girlfriend."
"The kids can only vaguely recall the killing itself yet remember with brilliant clarity the labels on everybody's clothes."
posted by Kevin C. Pearce | 3:25 PM
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