Todd's Story

This was written sometime just after the millenium. It has been re-edited. Thought it was good for a laugh. Makes me feel a bit nostalgic.

Todd's Story

Todd is a friend of mine. I met him through another friend who lived at the group home way back when. Todd is a bit of a crazy fellow but I mean that in the nicest possible way. I can just picture his demented smile and there is some strange comfort in that. Just to give you an idea of what we're dealing with, one time when he was drunk he spit on my balcony and I told him jokingly to lick it up and he did without any hesitation and with great humility. Never have I felt so proud and disgusted to call someone my friend. During his teenage years Todd pretty much got VERY WELL ACQUAINTED with drugs including crystal meth, LSD, cocaine, ecstasy, mushrooms and of course, pot. A lot of pot. While living in the ____________ , a welfare hotel in a certain nameless suburb, which is basically a haven for parolees, drug dealers, bikers, hookers, etc... he got ripped off for forty bucks trying to buy crack off some biker who was bragging how he had just shot somebody dead. He openly admits to smoking crack while he lived at the ____________. "There's just not that much to do" he says. I would visit him there once in awhile and admire the dirty window, the decaying walls and the rotting mattress, silently wondering how many people had died in that room.
Todd has been on welfare pretty much since he dropped out of high school although his recent diagnosis of schizophrenia qualifies him for disability benefits. He's been unable to hold on to a job for more than a few weeks. At his last job a customer asked him a question and he told them to fuck off because he was on his break. He then started mouthing off to security and tried to start a fight and was chased off the lot. Such events are typical of Todd’s life.
Now living in the east end of Hamilton, he heard a robbery go down across the hall from him in his landlord's apartment. The thieves had a shotgun and a machete and he heard the whole thing go down while trying to get some sleep. When he was giving his statement to the police, a cop told him that he was living in the worst building in Hamilton. The thieves made off with all the rent money, all the Sony Playstation games, all the CD's and approximately an ounce of weed. Not too long ago, Todd smashed a bus shelter in a fit of delusional rage in a crowded area because he thought his intellect was being questioned. He spent thirty days in jail for it. He had two knives on him and he had violated his probation. He got in a fight in jail, in which he "smashed the guy like five times" and also witnessed another brawl. "A big guy got his head beat in by some crazy guy."
Last week, Extra Terrestrial beings visited him in his bachelor apartment and he says they were gay. As in homosexual gay, not stupid gay for those of you who talk that way. He fears the ET's have given his cat's fleas and are making him physically and mentally sick. They threaten him, saying they will molest his dog who lives at his mother's house but he is reluctant to tell me why. "There's so much more" he says. "There's an abyss more." He also got an anonymous tip from somebody in his building that someone was going to break in to his apartment and steal his cats. "There is an enormous amount of doubt in my mind" he says. "I hope you believe me cuz I believe me."
I try, Todd, I try.
Although all of his CD's were recently stolen, Todd is a big fan of a genre of music known as Black Metal. Going by the name "Dead", the lead singer of "Norwegian Black Metal Gods 'Mayhem'" blew his head off with a shotgun. The corpse was portrayed lovingly on the front cover of Mayhem's next album. The book "Lords of Chaos", of which Todd is an eager student, chronicles the bloody rise of the Satanic Black Metal Underground in Norway. Todd openly admits to speaking with the dead. Recently he has been speaking with Per Ohlin aka "Dead" who, as mentioned, is quite dead. The ET's are his link to "Dead" but he will not reveal what is being said. "Between you and me, no fucking joke."
Sometimes it makes my head hurt thinking of these things.
Todd and I hang out when he’s in town which is every couple of weeks or so. We drink some beer and have a few laughs. He's a good friend and he's only threatened to kill me once so things are cool I guess.

Note: I've had several people ask me how much of this story is true. It's all completely true except for the name of our reluctant hero of course...